The New Normal
I have never quite understood what this means. I mean things are horrible out there but ‘new normal’? We are Indians. Everyday is a new normal. It’s an experience. And, also, we have short memories. We will go back to how things were. Things will not change just because of some virus. We will figure it out. Don’t believe me, look outside. Just a little over two months now, and we are rolling. The horns are blaring and traffic light is still not working. That is as normal as it was before the new normal. So stop saying it.
There was a time when the country was perfectly calibrated. Roti, Kapda, Makan and life was good. They were so aligned that they even made a movie on it and every body gave it a thumbs up. Now, bloody individuality! A debate rages on what essentials really mean. The cows will be home before we reach an agreement. I am just dreading for the moment when a certain news anchor will want the nation to know what essentials mean. What have we become? Who have we become if we can’t agree on what essentials are? So, no more ‘essentials’.
Prime Minister’s Speech
I have reached a point where every time I hear or read Prime Minister’s Speech, I am petrified. It’s a bit like your boss saying, ‘we need to talk’. When you hear that, it’s a familiar sinking feeling that you just can’t help.
Of course, there is no questioning the intent. Protecting the nation, showing the way and mobilising as a good leader should but as a middle aged man, I may be a little too old for this. It’s a lot like ‘what did I do now’? We should have learnt a long time ago. Remember Demonetisation?
I can’t take it anymore
These last two months have put me in a rather awkward spot. Don’t judge me but I don’t know if I really love my family as much as I felt I did…. There I said it. Off my chest. My kids are the worst. The reason we have schools is to get children civilised. By that logic, if they haven’t completed school, I am dealing with two little savages.
Another pearl of enlightenment – I think most marriages work because we don’t have to see each other seven days a week and forever. I never thought I would say this but I want my office back. The cold, dreary bays, the fake smiles, the forced team bonding; yes please, I will have all of that, thank you. The things I do for my family!
This is a hard one, I admit. Oh but the joys of eating out, never mind what you eat, just the joy of eating out unhurriedly and without fear. I am getting nostalgic out here. So, home delivery is out of my vocabulary for sometime at least. But I will be back.
When did we become French? The way baking has taken over, supermarkets are running out of yeast. That’s not the problem though. The problem is I don’t care. I mean I applaud you but I don’t care much about seeing it on my social media pages. Thats not, what my pages were meant for.
Were we always this big an exhibitionist waiting for the right moment and the right tool to come along so that we could blitz the world with things that don’t really excite anyone but us. I respect your keen-ness to learn something new and bravo on your newly acquired skill. Congratulations but I will have to say pass on your bread, or momos, or pizza this time around.
The world outside smells like a hospital, or a distillery. Depends what your inclination is. I have washed my hands so much in the past two months, I fear, my finger prints are fading. The real test though is Gol Gappas. How much longer do I wait for the watery, scrunchy goodness before I give in and say to hell with washing off the virus?
If anything good came out of it, its Social distancing. Don’t like it but it turned out fine. I have never been a fan of people standing too close to me and breathing down my neck especially when in a queue. Monsoons are worse. Don’t want to sound prudish but I suppose no one quite fancies rubbing shoulders with ‘humid’ people who smell like a wet mop. So, something good did come out.
Need I say more?
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